a student-run publication that seeks to provide space for voices that are not being heard on our campus. we are grounded by politics that are radical, anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-classist, anti-homophobic, anti-ableist, and anti-transphobic (against all forms of oppression) and that reject the structural neo-liberal paradigm that characterizes middlebury college and its official publications
Coming back to Middlebury feels like claustrophobia.
It feels like squishing myself into the backseat of a car that is full of luggage and car things and is overall not a space designed to fit me.
Coming back to Middlebury feels like accommodation (but I’m never sure by who—am I tolerating Middlebury or is Middlebury tolerating me?).
It is like folding my legs underneath my butt and leaning my head to one side so that my body can wedge itself in and exist here.
Going home to my city feels like stretching, like opening my arms and discovering that there are no walls containing them.
Middlebury feels like slow fear.
Like walking into the dining hall, heart rate rising until I find myself standing next to the entrance bewildered and wondering in my head who all these people are.
“These are not my people! These are not my people!”
I arrive and I worry about what Middlebury might do to my soul this time, because I am far too brown and glowing and full of light to be here.
Don’t disappear me Middlebury, don’t disappear me.
I went to my city and I found myself again. I laughed loudly with my mouth wide open and my arms spread.
Where are my people?
Like get me home, getmehome, getmehome.