a student-run publication that seeks to provide space for voices that are not being heard on our campus. we are grounded by politics that are radical, anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-classist, anti-homophobic, anti-ableist, and anti-transphobic (against all forms of oppression) and that reject the structural neo-liberal paradigm that characterizes middlebury college and its official publications
by Missan DeSouza
i have finally realized why i am always so tired on school days- I’ve become exhausted by the classroom, hearing the same overly used perspectives. The same voices, the same “language” [“socialized”, “marginalized”, “unpacking”, “discourse”, “bodies”, “binary”], and the same static ass views, coupled with the actual lack of education i feel i’m experiencing has conditioned my mind and body to feel like I shouldn’t have bothered to leave my bed in the morning because school has become a “you heard one, you’ve heard it all” situation. these pseudo- activists that head the classroom [professors] promote agenda’s that i’m not sure they’ve developed, but are pushing to create the illusion of them being “proactive” and “progressive” has become so boring in my 4th year. these same classes that look so great in course catalogs have made me less of a student, and more of a receptacle to feed convoluted jargon to, but i don’t buy into any of this rhetoric, as it seems that only one perspective has been presented in the classroom thus far, and we all know what happens when people of color present the opposing view- then everything just becomes about race, and all too often POC are then required to defend their race as the rest of the classroom is taught the bleak side of an entire people. This also makes me not even want to consider myself a “person of color” because i can’t point to my “identity” as a POC as having been a “negative” or “oppressive” experience as these lessons suggest. My appreciation and acknowledgement of my ancestors sacrifices has made that possible for me to NOT have to prove myself as “good enough” to anyone but myself. I need not defend why minorities are just as deserving of respect as the next [wo]man . the classroom only makes it “okay” to place me into such a category, to force such a “narrative” on to me, and even that one is one full of complaints, rather than celebrating the identity, its only been a crutch. I need no one to feel sorry for me. I need to, however, be taught about the beauty of my people, the ways they’ve CONTRIBUTED to society, the PROGRESS they’ve made, and the LENGTHS that they have left to go. While Middlebury still has a ways to go to accommodate this due to its sluggish progression, this is no excuse for the soapbox POC have to stand on to promote themselves, to be heard, to be seen, just simply to BE. Middlebury has told me the evils of being a minority, showed me the downfall of Affirmative Action, told me that being a minority makes me already a second- class citizen, and that this institution is my way to gussy up my theoretical “bootstraps”. HOWEVER, the degree that will be conferred to me in the next few weeks is not going to say “that minority from Brooklyn who made it out the hood, so Middlebury has contributed to the the world by giving her a chance”, no it WILL say MISSAN DESOUZA has completed the course of study in good standing in the department of Psychology, not in Minority Relations or Critical Race Theory. It will NOT say that i am a trained spokesperson for the minority experience. I was born great, thanks to my mother. I was trained to be great at IMS, at Westover, through Prep for Prep. I will continue to be great when I leave here, but please don’t feel that this is a trait that Middlebury could ever take even a crumb of credit for. It should be no surprise to ANYONE that though I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, i have still managed to FEAST. If this is what liberal arts is, if this is the purpose of “higher education”, keep that shit. I’m not proud to be graduating from Middlebury College. Im only proud to be graduating from College. Not because I was told I couldn’t do it, but because I did it and I did a DAMN good job of it. I’m only counting down the rest of the mornings I have to wake up feeling already tired, and making checklists that make me think of how much time i have left to serve this bid. do better and make learning fun again. I’m exhausted as hell.
*drops the mic*
[this is about as much patience i have left for these classrooms [image] ]
see the original at: tumblr