beyond the green: collective of middlebury voices

a student-run publication that seeks to provide space for voices that are not being heard on our campus. we are grounded by politics that are radical, anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-classist, anti-homophobic, anti-ableist, and anti-transphobic (against all forms of oppression) and that reject the structural neo-liberal paradigm that characterizes middlebury college and its official publications

For every tomorrow I’m stronger.

February 3, 2014

Trauma leaves a trail of bad habits and patterns of thought that I did not know existed until going to counseling. Not that counseling is the thing for everyone, but being able to recognize those patterns allowed me to take steps towards healing and not freak out anymore over small things.

February 3, 2014

I wake up in the middle of the night convinced that my dreams are real.

I’ve struggled with depression for a long time and the hardest part is when I feel like one little thing sends me back to being fourteen and crumbling under the … Continue reading

February 3, 2014

We speak not of our dungeons.

Pressing On Alone in space. Wrapped tightly. Pressed down by a heavy weight. Wrapped in a shroud, A dark cloth, A black garment. Pressed by a large mass, A heavy … Continue reading

February 3, 2014

Maybe each time I pushed away things that bothered me (the racist comments, broken friendships, the feeling of abandonment), I was shoveling dirt over my shoulder.

What Now? I just can’t figure it out… I was never a person who gave much thought to mental health. I was never a person who showed emotions all that … Continue reading

February 3, 2014

Conversations on mental health do not happen at home. They do not occur in Spanish nor in English.

I’m anxious, often. I’m more anxious at Middlebury than I am at home. But at least I’m allowed to talk about my anxiety when on campus, somewhat. Conversations on mental … Continue reading

February 3, 2014

Life is good. It hasn’t always been, but it’s been a journey and I’m grateful for the journey.

I have good mental health. I know I am fortunate. I have a mom, older cousin, and aunt who are seriously debilitated by their anxiety and depression. I work hard … Continue reading

February 3, 2014

I don’t want to ignore what’s going on, and I don’t have that privilege.

As a person of color, sometimes it’s difficult casually discussing with friends microaggressions, racial occurrences on campus, or ways we feel threatened. I don’t want to ignore what’s going on, … Continue reading

February 2, 2014

Poem: A Letter for Scarred Families

Some leave a message or a note Hidden in a Bible. For their children, The task is simple. Others stay silent, Leaving a mystery for those who follow. In families … Continue reading

February 1, 2014

I study and study because otherwise I will fail and I have never failed before and so can never allow myself to fail.

My experiences with mental health have not been incredibly volatile. I struggle sometimes with insecurity, jealousy, ego, body issues, anxiety, sadness, and I have had feelings of absolute devastation in … Continue reading

February 1, 2014

So I can’t sleep.

I can never sleep. I want to sleep, because it’s the only time I don’t have to worry, and cry, and worry that I’m worrying and crying too much. I … Continue reading

February 1, 2014

I’m anxious that I’m anxious. Sad that I’m sad again. Cycles upon cycles.

Inconsolable They could not get me to stop crying. I had nothing to blame; I had no one to blame. I was just a small, defective child, Unable to find … Continue reading

February 1, 2014

My mental illness developed as something I could lean on to numb out fear.

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are made for.” -John Augustus Shedd My mental illness developed as something I could lean on to numb … Continue reading

February 1, 2014

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