Trauma leaves a trail of bad habits and patterns of thought that I did not know existed until going to counseling. Not that counseling is the thing for everyone, but being able to recognize those patterns allowed me to take steps towards healing and not freak out anymore over small things.
I’ve struggled with depression for a long time and the hardest part is when I feel like one little thing sends me back to being fourteen and crumbling under the … Continue reading
Pressing On Alone in space. Wrapped tightly. Pressed down by a heavy weight. Wrapped in a shroud, A dark cloth, A black garment. Pressed by a large mass, A heavy … Continue reading
Maybe each time I pushed away things that bothered me (the racist comments, broken friendships, the feeling of abandonment), I was shoveling dirt over my shoulder.
What Now? I just can’t figure it out… I was never a person who gave much thought to mental health. I was never a person who showed emotions all that … Continue reading
I’m anxious, often. I’m more anxious at Middlebury than I am at home. But at least I’m allowed to talk about my anxiety when on campus, somewhat. Conversations on mental … Continue reading
I have good mental health. I know I am fortunate. I have a mom, older cousin, and aunt who are seriously debilitated by their anxiety and depression. I work hard … Continue reading
As a person of color, sometimes it’s difficult casually discussing with friends microaggressions, racial occurrences on campus, or ways we feel threatened. I don’t want to ignore what’s going on, … Continue reading
Some leave a message or a note Hidden in a Bible. For their children, The task is simple. Others stay silent, Leaving a mystery for those who follow. In families … Continue reading
I study and study because otherwise I will fail and I have never failed before and so can never allow myself to fail.
My experiences with mental health have not been incredibly volatile. I struggle sometimes with insecurity, jealousy, ego, body issues, anxiety, sadness, and I have had feelings of absolute devastation in … Continue reading
I can never sleep. I want to sleep, because it’s the only time I don’t have to worry, and cry, and worry that I’m worrying and crying too much. I … Continue reading
Inconsolable They could not get me to stop crying. I had nothing to blame; I had no one to blame. I was just a small, defective child, Unable to find … Continue reading
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are made for.” -John Augustus Shedd My mental illness developed as something I could lean on to numb … Continue reading